Where babies wait.....
On the way to a nearby lakeside park this morning, Big Bird and I had another one of *those* conversations. A conversation which again reminded me that our children do not exist in the same part of the universe that the rest of us do. They really are only partially here....and definitely partially somewhere else.
Big Bird was explaining to his sister that we were going to a park she had never been to before (not entirely true, but beside the point).
"you were still waiting with the other babies" he told her, "you weren't with us last time we came".
Too curious not to ask,
"still waiting with the other babies?" I inquired
"ya mama...in that place...what do you call it? where the babies wait to pick out their parents."
Not having a well thought out answer, I offer
"heaven?"
"Yes! Heaven. Where all the babies are all together while they pick out their parents. We picked you and daddy."
Whoa.
Silence for a few minutes.
"well buddy, i'm really glad you did."
"Ya mama.... me too."
Summer, 1980.
Are you diggin' the polyester? My Great Aunt Molly was visiting from England, and decided it was high time this girl learned how to knit. In the picture you can (sort of) see my brow furrowed in concentration as I SLOWLY, painfully work one stitch after another. My mom still jokes that it was the quietest she had ever seen me...both in all the time before the picture, and all the years since ;)
I think about teaching my own kids to knit. I have a hard time imagining that at 6 years old they will be able to concentrate long enough to figure it out....but there I am, living proof that it's possible. I can't wait to pass this tradition on.
I'd love to hear about the traditions you plan to pass on to your own kids.....
With the mind of a child....
It started about a year or so ago. One night, while looking at a waning gibbous moon, Big Bird asked me
"mama, what's wrong with the moon?"
It took a few minutes to get to the root of his question. It turns out that he was concerned about the size of the moon. Apparently it was too small. Apparently in his mind it was supposed to be Full all the time.
I explained how sometimes the moon is big, and sometimes it is small, but that it's always changing size.
"That's okay mama, Ito will fix it."
Ito is one of Big Bird's grandfathers. He is legendary for his ability to fix pretty much anything. I realized that in the world of my then 3 year old, it was completely plausible that Ito would climb up his ladder, use his hammer, and "fix" the moon. At the time I thought, oh how sweet, but didn't think much more about it.
Fast forward a year. Last week, I was trying to distract the kids attention away from something they were not supposed to be doing (beating on each other, if you really want to know). Look! A herd of Velociraptors is walking through the yard.... I point out the window, both kids rush to the door to check it out.
"where mama, I don't see them?"
"there, by the mailbox, don't you see them?" I ask
silence for a few moments.....
"oh. you're pretendin'."
And with that, Big Bird walked away. I'm sure I saw a look of disgust on his face.
It dawned on me in that moment, that in his world, it was completely within the realm of possibility that a herd of flesh-eating dinosaurs was indeed walking through his yard. Where he would have thought oh cool! let's go play with them!, I would have thought oh sh*t....., call 911!
And then a couple of days ago....
"mama? is jelly made from jellyfish?"
I rush to reassure him that jelly is definitely NOT made from jellyfish. Poor child...he must be traumatized....but then, I saw the look on his face. And I could tell that he wasn't worried, he was just looking for clarification. He would have been just as willing to accept "yes" for an answer as "no". Again, it was completely within the realm of possibility that jelly is made from jellyfish. If I had said "yes", he would have said, "oh", and wandered off to keep playing. I would have gagged, and thrown the PB&J in the trash.
Okay, I'll get to my point (and I do have one, I promise). Over the weekend, I was at my twice weekly yoga class. At one point I was standing on my head trying to do this. And it wasn't going well. At all.
I was fighting a bit against muscle fatigue (it was the end of a long class), but honestly, I was fighting mostly against my own mind. ummmm, robyn? what are you thinking? this is impossible! you can't do this! That sort of counter-productive internal dialog that most of us (except maybe Buddha) are familiar with. And then, in less than a second, all of those moments with Big Bird flashed through my mind. And it all came together for me. If I approached this pose with the mind of a child I would be just fine. If I believed that it was well within the realm of possibility for me to stand on my head, balance on my arms and just DO the pose, then it would happen!
Of course, it didn't happen.....by then I was too exhausted. BUT.....I have class again on Tuesday. And between now and then I'm working really hard on changing the pictures and the dialog in my head.
Imagine all the things we could accomplish if we approached challenges with the mind of a child.......
The kids reminded me about a few of parentings most important lessons today....
#1 is that playdough is still a heck of a lot of fun, no matter how old you are and no matter how often you have played with it in the past week....
#2 is that playdough tastes REALLY good....
and #3 is that you should never, EVER, underestimate the determination of an almost-4 year old.
It couldn't have been more than 50 degrees outside this morning. Apparently, though, that was NO reason to delay bringing out the water table any longer. And to prove his point, he stayed out there until his fingers were BRIGHT pink and all his little teeth were chattering.
He says it was fun....but I don't think he would have admitted it even if it wasn't ;)
Playdough recipes are a dime a dozen. I've tried a few, and here's the one I like best:
1 cup water
1 tbsp vege oil
1/2 cup salt
1 tbsp cream of tartar
food colouring
saucepan
1 cup flour
Combine water, oil, salt, cream of tartar, and food colouring in a saucepan and heat until warm. Remove from heat and add flour. Stir until smooth, the cream of tartar makes this stuff last for many months, so use it if you can find it (in the spice aisle....I'll admit, I had to ask the first time I went looking for it!). Store the dough in an airtight container or plastic baggy.
Cheers :)
Oh, and don't forget lesson #1!
I'm in the middle of reading Amanda Soule's new book The Creative Family - How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections.
In it she spends some time talking about toys. She has created 6 criteria that are used in her home when choosing toys for her kids. It was so nice to read someone else's thoughts on this subject, especially someone who agrees with me - we all need a little validation every now and then, right?
1. Is it beautiful? She is, as am I, a big fan of hand-crafted toys. Toys that feel good to touch and hold and are visually pleasing. Toys that are beautifully designed can be a great source of creativity and imagination.
2. Is it simple? She puts it well, "If there's a toy that does it all for you, there's little room left for creativity." She advises to "select toys that can be used in a multitude of ways and that evoke imagination and creative expression."
3. What is it made of? "Does your children's toy selection show an adequate representation of nature? Is there wood? Cloth? Natural Fibers?"
4. What Senses does it use? We all experience the world through our senses, and our children are strongly programmed this way (anyone else have kids who taste everything?) Soule suggests having toys in our homes which represent each of the senses.
5. How is it organized? Toys get used more when they are accessible, easy to find and available. This is SO true for my own kids! If our kids have to spend too much time looking for what they need, creativity often goes by the wayside. "Keeping toys organized in baskets, boxes and on shelves where kids can reach them helps so that children know just where they are when inspiration strikes."
6. Is there too much? Less is MORE!!! I try to do fairly regular toy rotations where I clear out most of the toys in the living areas, put them in boxes, and bring up another box (from a previous rotation) from the garage. Not only does it keep the toy chaos and clutter down to a minimum, but for a few days afterwards it's like Christmas all over again as the kids get reacquainted with old toys :)
I can't recommend this book enough. It's an easy read (for those of us with minimal free time), visually pleasing, and full of inspiring suggestions and ideas. Amanda Soule also has a great blog which I visit often.
Cheers!
Welcome to the family, little guy. Knitting with size 2 needles almost killed me (if you knit, you know what I mean)....but it was worth having to start over 3 times to see the joy and rapture on Big Birds face this morning. Apparently they are old friends...
"Snaily!! It's soooo good to see you!"
I let him (Big Bird, that is, not the snail) browse through the webshop at MochiMochi Land last night, he picked out this for my next project. I feel a new addiction coming on....her toys are just so appealing!
We had a pretty quiet weekend with most of us feeling a bit under the weather. We did make a point of enjoying our new backyard space though.
I can't tell you how thrilled I am that going outside to play no longer has to involve wrangling the kids into the car and driving to a park somewhere! Don't get me wrong....going to the park is still a wonderful thing and will continue to be part of our weekly adventures. But I am SO looking forward to some spring time fun just outside our door....in our pajamas if we feel so inclined ;)
I think we're going to give this another try later today. I'll let you know how it goes.
Enjoy your Monday everyone!
"One Gift, one cause"Is this how you feel after a birthday party? Whether it's christmas, birthdays, or even easter, I'm always a bit disturbed by the sheer volume of STUFF that my children receive in the form of gifts. And although they can't put words to it yet, I know my kids experience a bit of overwhelmed-ness too. After the first few presents, they stop paying attention to what it is they're unwrapping...they quickly rip off the paper and move on to the next gift, rushing to get through it all so they can just PLAY with all the new booty. And speaking of wrapping paper.... there's also the MOUNTAIN of packaging and paper left over afterwards too. I can't get the image of it all sitting in a landfill somewhere out of my mind.
Despite feeling that it's all a bit gluttonous, I can't bring myself to deny friends and family the opportunity to give the kids something special on birthdays and holidays. I understand the joy that is felt when you give a gift to someone you love, after all, I love giving my kids gifts too! So when I read about a new company called ECHOage, I once again did my Happy Dance....here was the solution.
It seems that there are at least two other mothers out there who have felt like I do. And they have created a way for everyone to win when it comes to birthday parties. Loved ones still get to give gifts, children still get to receive a present on their special day, and better yet, complete strangers benefit from all the giving too.
Check out the website, linked above. Essentially what happens is this: Instead of friends and family buying gifts for the birthday boy or girl, they donate $$ on ECHOage's website. The parents of the birthday boy or girl then get half the donations via a cheque in the mail for their children to buy ONE gift. The other half of the money goes to charity. Parents can choose from a few different choices on the website. The charities are chosen because they are national (Canadian and US). Parents who decide to host an ECHOage birthday party choose one of a number of invitations from the website. All of the invites tell folks NOT to bring a gift to the party. Parents then enter the emails of the people they would like to invite. Parents still choose their own venue for the party. Donations and RSVP's are tracked online and parents receive an official tax reciept. Usually donations are $20, but parents can choose to go as low as $10 or as high as $30. After the party, children can send out an ECHOage thank-you email.
Now how smart is that? This might just be my new favorite thing. We're going to give it a try this May for Big Birds birthday. I'll let you know how it goes. Pass it on.......
